80-Page Thursday: World's Finest Comics #249!

I'm really tempted to just post the cover from this one: whatever you imagine from it, is probably way better than the actual story! How do you have the "vampire of steel" and the Phantom Stranger and still drop the ball? From 1978, World's Finest Comics #249.

The only fun bit in "The Vampire of Steel!" is Superman repeatedly choosing to hang out, but seemingly decline to help Batman, based on his code to "never give super help to corporations or private persons--even friends!" The rest is squandered, like mythical undersea vampire creatures, a Jacques Cousteau-style undersea conservationist who you know is going to be the bad guy--he's named 'Kalamari,' for pete's sake. Batman is about as mysterious as a kid wearing his underroos and almost as effective, and the Phantom Stranger can apparently breathe and talk underwater, yet never visits Aquaman. Jerk. On to the next one! (Story by Bob Haney, pencils by Kurt Schaffenberger, inks by Tex Blaisdell.)

I thought we had blogged either the prior or next chapter of this Green Arrow/Black Canary serial, "Will the Costume Make the Hero?" Written by Gerry Conway, pencils by Trevor Von Eeden, inks by Vince Colletta. Ollie had been ruined financially by Deleon, who added insult to injury by buying his old mansion, then finding the Arrowcave, proving Ollie was...Batman? I think I missed one of Deleon's steps there, but he needs 'Batman' to defend him against Hellgrammite, who has Black Canary captured. She manages to shatter her prison, and beat down the bug baddies's men, but gets knocked out again. Hiding in the shadows, his beard anyway, Ollie makes a convincing Batman, until he goes into action: he has no idea what's in his utility belt, since it's not labeled, and gets tangled in the cape and falls over!

Knowing Deleon was probably going to go to Hellgrammite--part of his scam, supposedly giving old gangsters new lives--Ollie thinks his career is probably over, but Hellgrammite forces Canary to call him for help. Even webbed up, though, Canary is still fighting to free herself: she does like a challenge. Hellgrammite turns on his men and Deleon, intent on covering his tracks and stealing the Green Arrow's identity, but still dressed as Batman Ollie manages to stop him. Deleon was killed, and Canary wonders if Ollie couldn't get his money back, but he claims he doesn't need it, then acts a little too possessive with Canary and pushes her away. Did I say a little? He's being a jerk.

Next, the Creeper's World's Finest debut! I think he'd stick around maybe seven issues, but here in "Moon Lady and the Monster" Jack Ryder and his supporting cast are security for a network's Elvira-like horror host as she's stalked by an old partner. It's a bit of fun, but I don't think sticks the landing--I wanted Moon Lady to go on, but apparently the ratings got her.

Then, an unexpected lead (that's on the cover...) and an unexpected guest-star: Wonder Woman, with Sgt. Rock! With Rock hypnotized by Doctor Psycho! And aliens! The latter are 100% unneccessary, as I'd rather see Rock and WW kicking Psycho back and forth. I don't know if he very much resembles later versions of the character, though.

Seriously, they could beat on him for chapters, I'll allow it. Another DC Necronomicon, though.